Flapping about

Starting to panic a bit .. I spent a couple of hours on Saturday fitting catflaps so that the cat can gome and go as she pleases when we are on holiday, but she is terrified of the things and won't go near them. So being the geek that I am, I started searching the Internet for advice and came across thiscatflap story, which didn't help me out of my predicament at all but did make me laugh. But then I realised which site this story was on ... John Mark Ministries - Assisting churches, pastors, leaders and their spouses ...WHY???:? Is this kind of thing recommended to vicars to use in their sermons? Now, I haven't been to church for a long long time, but if the sermons now are about things like this:

"After a few hours, a group of students approached me but, instead of helping, they removed my trousers and pants, painted my buttocks bright blue, and stuck a daffodil between my cheeks... No one tried to free me. In fact, I only got free after two days because a dog started licking my private parts and an old woman complained to the police."

... then I might just go along!